Comfortably Uncomfortable

This past year has been difficult. Brandon and I have had a year filled with inconsistency, transitions, emotional struggle, financial struggle, loss, heartache, judgment and hardship. I often ask myself what I would want to change if I could. I always conclude with the same answer-- “absolutely nothing.” Yes, this year has really sucked. However, through it all God has been nothing but faithful. I have watched my husband transform into a godly leader. I have witnessed a supernatural passion enter into both of our lives. I have felt God changing our hearts and desires. We have drastically changed this year! We are not the same people we were this time last year when we were planning our winter wedding. We have different desires, different passions, and different goals for our lives and we are continually changing. This change is empowering and also terrifying.

One of our biggest revelations this year, while reading Radical, is the simple fact that as Christians, we are OBLIGATED to declare the name of Jesus Christ. This is not an option. The apostle Paul writes, “I am obligated both to Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are in Rome. For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.” (Romans 1:14-16)

So what has this one simple revelation done for us? It has brought us to the realization and conviction that we live for one purpose and that is to share the love and name of Jesus Christ. We are still in the process of developing an eternal perspective. We are praying for ways in which we can bring the gospel to others. We realize that we can no longer seek things that are superficial and temporary but to invest our time and resources for a greater good! We have to be vulnerable, we have to constantly seek growth, we have to desire continual transformation, and here's the kicker...we have to experience discomfort. Of course we all want to grow and transform so that we can become more like Christ, but when we have to sacrifice our comfort and security...that desire to change and grow can quickly fade away and that's when complacency comes and resides within us. We often tend to do what is comfortable. We go to church every week, we help in ministries that we feel called to help in, we tithe, we read an excerpt from Scripture everyday, we pray, etc. It is so easy for us to fall into the trap of doing these things because “that's what good Christians do.”

As believers, we all have our own individual calling. God has specifically designed for us a purpose and has individually chosen us for that purpose. Whether we are called to go overseas and proclaim Christ to an unreached people group, or we are called to pack up our families and move to a different city or state, or we are called to sacrificially and financially give to missions...the underlying truth is the same—we must be willing to step outside of our comfort zones and commit to the continual change that God has in store for us. When writing to the Christians in Thessaloniki, Paul acknowledges their spiritual growth and encourages them to keep growing. He writes, “Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1)

Change is hard and at times terrifying. In one of Christine Caine's podcasts she stated, “For every new level, there is a new devil.” She goes on to explain that when we change and grow in Christ, satan tends to attack us at a greater level. We become a threat to his kingdom when we begin to grow and declare the name of Christ more often. The greater we grow in Christ, the larger the pit that satan has prepared for us and it is filled with new levels of deceit, heartache and pain. At times I allow this thought to terrify me. At times I tell myself that I have done a lot of good and that I no longer need to grow. When I think of her statement, I reflect on my past pain and hurt and I don't want to go through anymore trial. I tell myself, “I have had enough hurt in this lifetime, I can't handle anymore.”

BUT...MY GOD! My God goes before me. My God fights my every battle. My God is the great comforter. My God allows us to endure suffering so that we may play a small part in His eternal and glorious plan. This is where the eternal perspective comes into play again...every tear, every cry, every gut wrenching painful experience is NOTHING compared to the glory of Jesus Christ and our eternity with Him! Paul writes, “For our LIGHT and MOMENTARY troubles are achieving for us an ETERNAL GLORY that FAR OUTWEIGHS them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is ETERNAL. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

How do we get there? How do we become comfortable in our discomfort? How do we long for nothing else, but to proclaim the name of Jesus Christ to those we encounter. How do we find the willingness to sacrifice anything and everything for the glory of the gospel? I believe that we all get to this point in our own unique way. For me personally, I have not reached this point. However, I have come to the point that I WANT to think about Jesus day and night, I WANT to be able to say “Here I am God, do WHATEVER You need to do with my life...it is Yours;” and I WANT to comfortably uncomfortable.

So I invite you...to follow me along on this journey of what I hope to be radical transformation. I feel like my first step is to find my identity in Christ and to find boldness and confidence in that identity. I have felt led to do this for a month or so now, but I have been waiting for confirmation and for God's timing.

Over the next few months or so I will be writing a “Who Am I?” series on this blog. This series will cause me to be vulnerable, it will be exposing, and at times I may share unsettling thoughts. Why am I doing this? Actually there are several reasons...

1.I feel like God is using my blog to not only help others but to reveal Himself to me in crazy and awesome ways.

2.I am on a journey to discover who I am in Christ and personally, I don't want to keep that to myself...this journey has already been filled with miracles, revelations, and God's goodness...and I want to share that with anyone who wishes to read my blog series. I feel God is calling me to share it.

3.I have realized that I am not alone in this struggle...I received several messages, comments, and e-mails after the post “Who Am I?' and I realize that we go through a lot of the same struggles and temptations, and I realize that God is using my blog in great ways.

The process of growth and purification is always difficult and unsettling. It oftentimes entails loss, heartache and difficulty. BUT, the reward is eternal and the impact has the potential to be GLOBAL! We must remain bold on this journey of faith. We must never think that we have “arrived.” If we ever come to that warped place of arrival we become stagnant and complacent. We must always seek God, be willing to change, and learn to live a life that is comfortably uncomfortable.