So I've been searching my heart and trying to decide exactly how I was going to start this post - but a dear friend, mentor, and co-worker suggested I tell the story of how I became a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. (Thanks Pam Bishop!!!)
Ok…so I grew up in church and knew all about Jesus Christ. I walked down the aisle during the altar call when I was 8 years old. I repeated a simple prayer, was baptized, and I thought that was it! It was just THAT easy! Yeah right! Throughout high school I was considered a "good girl" - never drank, did drugs, etc. I was a friend to everyone I encountered. So on the outside looking in - I was a great Christian gal. But on the inside I was falling into the darkness of depression and self-loathing. I became suicidal a couple of years after high school and even attempted ending my life a couple of times - obviously the grace of God saved me from that or I wouldn't be sitting here typing today. (Otherwise that would be SUPER creepy!)
When I was 22 years old I finally realized what it meant to die to myself and live for Christ. I broke down in complete humbleness - literally fell flat on my face and cried out to the Lord God to save me - and I was redeemed on a Sunday night in my super messy and more than likely smelly bedroom. (On a side note – I am no longer the messy slob I once was! Thankfully God rescued me from that as well J)
Now don't go thinking it was "happy go lucky" after that night - because it was definitely NOT happy nor lucky! The past 3-4 years have been the hardest years I have ever faced. Let me just give you a FEW examples J
1. I discovered my dad was a drug addict/dealer and he was arrested.
2. My mom was shortly committed into a psych ward after his arrest
3. I went to
4. Depression kept creeping in and out of my life 2 years after I gave my life to God.
Don’t worry. I'm not going to sit here and tell you about all of my troubles the past 4 years - simply because I don't want to sit here and type 1,406,395 examples and I'm sure you don't want to read them! (By the way I TOTALLY made that number up - for those of you sitting there concerned for my mental health due to the fact that I record every unfortunate event in my life!)
The point is…yes my journey has been extremely difficult yet (here comes the good part!) – there is an amazing God who gives indescribable peace during the difficult and trying times. Not only did He give me this incredible peace – He equipped me with the strength I needed to get through those crappy times. There is no explanation other than Christ loves us unconditionally…so much that He took all of our sins and burdens on Himself so that He would be our sacrifice so that we my live eternally. The love of my God leaves me completely speechless!
So yeah – I can’t really pinpoint exactly what this blog will be about. I don’t even know if I have a true vision of what it is going to be. Though I can assure you that it will be random and will be filled with rambling and also more than likely filled with several grammatical errors. I’m really sorry about that! So this blog is going to be a journey…sharing my joy and my trials and what God is teaching me through each. I’m pretty positive there will be random posts as well that will leave you questioning, “Ummm…why did she post this?” J
In conclusion to my very first post – I want to share with you a verse that God has revealed to me several times over the past month. A verse that quickly became my life verse.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. - Isaiah 41:10
Sometimes we are faced with super difficult and trying times, and if you are anything like me – you try to take the “world on your shoulders.” So take it from someone who knows and who learned after 4 years of life lessons – God is so much more than we deserve and He is more than enough. Rely on Him, pray constantly, love His Word, cling to Him always, and just trust that the Lord is sovereign and will always be victorious!
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