Over the past few days I have experienced a great variety of
emotions. On Friday, Brandon and I
closed on our very first home! We felt
overwhelmed, excited, joyful, happy, proud and full of hope for our
future. On Sunday, Brandon and I lost
part of our precious home to an electrical fire. Again, we were overwhelmed, but we were also
confused, terrified, nervous, anxious, and yet we were still full of hope.
Yes, this is a horrible situation and it has been one of the
most difficult trials I have yet to face.
I have wept in my husband’s arms; I have asked the question “Why?” at
least a million times; I have felt resentment and anger; and I have felt lost,
because currently, I no longer have the security of a home that I can call my
own.
And yet through all of this…a beam of hope shines through. I find this absolutely amazing! When I want to throw my hands up in the air
and scream “I give up!” and when I want to lay in bed in fetal position and cry
until I cannot cry any more…that is when God whispers “I am here, I've got this. Trust Me.”
I love the passage in Lamentations 3, “When life is heavy
and hard to take, go off by yourself.
Enter the silence. Bow in
prayer. Don’t ask questions: wait for
hope to appear. Don’t run from
trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst.” So now I stand, waiting for hope to
appear. As time passes, I am beginning
to see God’s hand all over this.
Brandon and I have been given great vision of future
ministry and I feel like this situation is a perfect illustration of what’s to
come. As I was speaking with the
insurance adjuster, he mentioned the word “restoration.” And I sat quietly and pondered on that word
and what it meant. Then my mind
immediately went to our hopes and dreams of opening our lives to people in
desperate situations…in need of hope, redemption, second chances, and restoration.
What an amazing illustration God has provided!
Elisabeth Elliot writes, “To be a follower of the Crucified
means, sooner or later, a personal encounter with the cross. And the cross always entails loss. The great symbol of Christianity means
sacrifice and no one who calls himself a Christian can evade this stark fact.”
(These Strange Ashes) As I write this, my eyes are filled with
tears of hope and joy. I am extremely blessed! God has brought us to a season of loss and
despair, and has given us this amazing opportunity to cling to the Cross and to
cling to Him. He is reminding us that He
is sovereign and that He is glorified – even through situations of despair and
heartache.
The next eight weeks will be hard. It will be a time of instability – lacking resources
as well as the comfort and safety of “home.”
I won’t be able to decorate my house for the fall season. I won’t be able to sit on my screened porch,
cuddling with Brandon and watching the leaves change. I am going to be missing out on so many
simple memories that I was longing for during our closing process.
However, I am excited for new and unexpected memories. I don’t even know where we will live for the
next eight weeks, but we are facing the unknown in the arms of Christ. And there is nowhere else I would rather be
than safe in the arms of my Redeemer.
 |
| Damage from the fire - Sunday August 31 |
 |
| Damage from the fire - Sunday August 31 |
 |
| Damage from the fire - Sunday August 31 |
 |
| Our first picture together at our first home - Friday August 29th |
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” –Philippians 4:12
