2011…a year that changed my life; the
year that I went to Uganda and received my calling as a Christian
counselor. It was the year that my
passion for ministry was ignited. It was
the year I started praying and begging for a life filled with “spiritual
interruptions.” I prayed for constant
discomfort, for trials, and for struggles so that I will be prepared to counsel
those in need.
This morning I reflected on that
year…what happened to me? How did I
become the person I am this very instant?
I am a girl who is begging God to take away the trials and struggle; a
girl who is longing for comfort and happiness.
I have found that praying for these things have sucked the life and
energy out of me, my identity in Christ is fading every day I find myself
praying these things.
The past few
months have been trying to say the least.
I am in a new area, I am still trying to build friendships here, I am
trying to learn how to be a godly and virtuous wife, and several other trials
have been thrown at me.
Recently, during my morning
journaling, I wrote, “Lord, You are a God of great strength and power. I have blindly closed my mind to that idea –
putting You in a box – degrading Your honor and Your name. I have not been faithful – I have not kept
You first in my life. I have wallowed in
self pity and darkness; depression has consumed me at times. I feel alone, wandering aimlessly with no
place to go, no sense of belonging…like an Israelite wandering in the wilderness,
fleeing from Egypt. Transform me God…change
my heart…change my desires.”
Like always, God has been
faithful. My heart began to soften, I
found joy in simplicity, I discovered more blessings daily. And then Romans 8:18 happened. Back story: I have been studying the book of
Acts…the past few days I have been reading on Saul’s conversion in Acts 9…Saul
the “chief of sinners” radically transformed into a instrument in God’s plan. Today’s study cross referenced to Romans
8:18, “Yet what we suffer now is NOTHING compared to the glory He will reveal
to us later.”
LIGHT BULB MOMENT! Oh my dear friends, I have been so focused on
the current pain and hardships…I have lost the simple fact that through Christ
and His grace, suffering is such a sweet gift.
Through suffering, we are made strong, we have the ability to empathize
with others during their sufferings, and above all else, we are reminded that
nothing in this life can fully satisfy us…only Christ.
During my morning walk, I started
thanking God for His creation. The sun
was beaming through the clouds, a gentle breeze swept across my face, birds
were chirping, flowers are sprouting from the ground, the air was crisp and
refreshing…spring is near. Spring…a
season of new life, new beginnings, a season of hope! I heard Christ’s gentle invitation, “Whitney,
come back to Me.” It was the holy
whisper of my Lord inviting me to be satisfied in His great and indescribable
love for me – His wandering beloved.
So, today I pray Psalm 63….
“O God, you are my God, earnestly I
seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary
land where there is no water. I have
seen You in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is BETTER THAN LIFE, my
lips will glorify You. I will praise You
as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest
of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise You.” (Psalm 63:1-5)
This illustration
is the sacred romance that every one of us is created for. It describes our purpose of existence. God wants us to come to Him and say, “Oh God,
You are so far above every detail of my life…every love of my life, every
experience, every purpose and every goal.
YOU ARE MY LIFE. Your love is
BETTER THAN LIFE. I utterly devote
myself to You, and daily die to myself so that I may live for You. Any trial, or struggle, or hardship that I
may face, is a sweet sweet blessing, because You are teaching me, preparing me,
and molding me. I ask for Your will
always.”
In this
current “season of hope,” I pray, not for these trials to end, but to
endure. I pray for God’s strength to
cover me during these hardships, and I pray that He will use them so that I may
help others and bring glory to the name of Christ.
Joyfully HIS,
Whit
